A tinderbox of competition and resentments underneath the façade of a picture-perfect couple is ignited when the husband’s professional dreams come crashing down.

There’s been a pervasive schadenfreude in entertainment for a while now. Probably since the dawn of reality TV, the heyday of The Office, and other such shows where watching people be terrible has been elevated to quality programming. But that only works if the writing is stellar, the characters are interesting, and hate-watching isn’t its own misery. And sometimes, you get The Roses.

Halfway to EGOT-er Olivia Colman is Ivy. Doctor Strange Benedict Cumberbatch is her husband Theo. The Roses tracks their progression from meet-cute in a restaurant’s kitchen where Ivy is a chef, to the violent implosion of their nearly twenty-year marriage, which the trailers gave ample space to. Ultimately, Ivy and Theo feel mismatched from the beginning and their inability to communicate effectively (Ivy’s career takes off as Theo’s is tanking), as the film shows over and over, doesn’t make for an enjoyable watch.

There are funny moments. Colman and Cumberbatch at least have great chemistry even as their characters are just awful to each other. Supporting cast are generally decent, if underused – Kate McKinnon and Andy Samberg as the couple’s married pals. McKinnon manages to play to her cartoonish strengths, while also having the emotional highlight of the film. Samberg is actually one of the more grounded characters in a film where everyone is extreme. Ncuti Gatwa, Sunita Mani, Zoe Chao, and Jamie Demetriou pop in all too briefly, but are welcome sights. Allison Janney has one scene, the bulk of which I’d seen from the trailer.

Wallowing in someone else’s misery can only carry you so far. And I was over the Roses marriage long before they came to realize it. To be fair, I didn’t really care for the original with Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas, although there’s really no connection beyond a spiritual kismet. It was nice to hear some Susanna Hoffs songs at least (she’s married to director Jay Roach).

Jonathan’s Grade – C-